The Road Taken
by RouthFan
Summary: Sarah's stomach plummeted as she realized what she held in her hand; a wedding band set. Now it all fit, Agent Daniel Shaw was a widow. He wasn't void of emotion, just better hiding it than everyone else. What happened that changed this man?


**Author's note: This is one of two chapters and is based upon Daniel Shaw's character, some back story that after watching "Chuck vs. First Class" I just felt I had to write. It's my first attempt at writing for the Chuck world, so keep an open mind, and I hope find some entertainment. This is not betaed, so read at your own risk!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but with the exception of Eve's idea, her fiesty personality is all mine!**

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The Road Taken

The large fingers carefully balanced the contra lateral corners of the slender small envelope; it spun between them as Daniel Shaw's dark brown eyes seemingly burned a hole through the paper.

It was right there, in his hand, the very thing that had symbolized the alpha and omega of his existence. But that was five years go. How much things had changed. How _he_ changed.

Sadness weighed down his frame as he traced his hand along the flap that begged to be opened.

"What's in the envelope Shaw?" Sarah's voice laden with suspicion shifted him from his meditative state.

He knew what it was.

Daniel's brow furrowed and looked up slowly, only to meet her questioning expression with a foreign vulnerability in his eyes. The pained man looked back down to the square envelope that he held. His fingers flipped closed the envelope and as his attention was diverted to the metal desk.

Troubled, he continued to look down, blinking as his arm extended to Sarah's hand.

She readily accepted the small object and her slender fingers slid into the envelope to retrieve its contents. As her index finger felt a cold metal band that was undoubtedly a ring of some sort, her breath hitched when Daniel remained eerily silent and seemingly frozen, blankly staring at the desk.

His forlorn expression and the injury that lingered behind his dark eyes caused her stomach to plummet. The sudden raw vulnerability of this cold and calculating agent was an abrupt departure from the man who had been in charge of their team.

His eyes that continued to penetrate her own looked down to the envelope as she retrieved two rings and placed them in her palm. Sarah looked down at her hand, her gaze focused acutely on the sparkling silver object.

Her face fell as she immediately recognized that a wedding band and engagement ring soldered together was what she was holding.

Agent Daniel Shaw was a widower.

Their eyes met and Daniel made no effort to conceal the emptiness that emanated from him. He looked at her with a longing, a haunted expression that caused her own soul to ache.

Her heart pounded and was the only sound with the exception of his heavy sigh.

She found herself holding her breath until Daniel's deep timbre broke the silence that had grown more than uncomfortable.

"She was killed by a Ring agent five years ago."

The words seemingly caused a heavy jab to her chest, as if she became winded.

Her mouth hung open as she continued to stare at him; Shaw continued.

"Her name was Evelyn Shaw. Eve. We both made the same mistake Sarah," a smile briefly tugged at a corner of his mouth as Daniel slowly shook his head in regret. "We fell in love with spies."

She didn't know what to say. It all fit; this man had a vendetta. And she couldn't blame him; he had lost his wife.

The handsome man with the beyond irritating icy personality, who had always remained distanced, with calculating dark eyes seemed less intimidating. He wasn't larger than life and indifferent to those around him anymore. This was a man who teemed with emotion; he was just a master at concealing it.

In fact, he seemed a stark contrast of the former; his coffee-colored eyes were soft, troubled and portrayed a lonely air, as he looked at her again.

"You and I are very similar creatures, Sarah. Maybe we're not that different after all."

The perplexed blonde slipped the wedding set back into the envelope and wordlessly, returned it to the man who had offered it. Her pallid blue eyes returned to the man who no longer was looking at her, but to the desk below. He softly placed it on the desk and folded as his arms.

As Sarah spun on her heel and disappeared from the room, she couldn't shake the uncanny sensation from the incredibly unnerving image that as she left, Shaw had been blinking back tears.

* * *

***

Upon her exit, Daniel's frame crumpled as his head fell into his hands. If only the road taken had been different. But it wasn't. He had made his bed, now he had to pay the penance for his shortcomings. The ghosts never seemed to disappear. Eve was always with him.

Once again, he found himself begging relentlessly for any opportunity to renegotiate the events and circumstances that lead to his wife's demise. The images of their life shortly before their last mission together haunted him.

_Her panicked eyes flew to the gun at her temple; blood marred her features as her rapid breathing increased in tempo. Eve's hands remained firmly fastened behind her back to her ankles. Her knees were raw from kneeling on them for hours. _

"_I told you, I wasn't here to negotiate, we had a deal." Shaw's confident voice didn't betray the unsteadiness in his legs. He prayed silently that they would continue to support him. He needed to make the deal or thousands would die from the nuclear blast._

"_Very well, but you can't have both things you want. Which lives would you prefer? Thousands of strangers, or your wife's?"_

"_She's a cover, nothing more. Give me the override codes and inscription key."_

_Shaw's eyes looked to the man, then to his wife. Eve looked with understanding and in panic to her husband with a silent farewell. _

_The older man's eyes darted away and nodded. "Very well," he turned to the other man who accompanied him. "Take her away and deal with her."_

_Eve's figure was dragged from the room, her eyes flooded with tears as she refused to break the line of sight with her husband until the man dragged her around the corner. _

_BANG_

_He felt his entire insides scream and crumble as his exterior remained still, a flat affect despite watching his wife being taken from him in front of his very eyes. He would be damned if he ever gave any sign of weakness to the Ring, or give them any satisfaction in their actions. _

"_I told you, I wasn't bluffing, now give it to me." Shaw swallowed. "We had a deal."_

"_Your loyalty to your craft is commendable." The man flicked his wrist and a slender memory stick floated through the air. Shaw swiftly palmed it and slipped it into his pocket. _

If only he had told her he loved her one more time. If only he had held her longer…Screw everyone else, he had made the wrong choice and if he had the opportunity again, Daniel would have gladly chosen his wife's life over thousands of others.

But he knew it was a selfish desire, and one his own wife would have vehemently scolded him for; one that she would not have made herself. As of late, work was his only salvation from the fear that had overtaken him.

He had begun to forget the little things; the way her hair smelled after she had taken a shower, how her skin felt beneath his fingers, the sounds she made as she drifted off to sleep; and most terrifying of all, he had begun to forget what her voice sounded like when she laughed.

Daniel's hands combed back the thick black hair in frustration and stared intently at his desk, forcing himself to relive again the last night before their mission, when everything changed. He tried to remember everything; especially Eve's laugh. It was the last time he heard it.

* * *

***

"For the last time Danny, get your hands _off _me," the petite brunette giggled as she failed to focus her concentration on the cutting board in front of her.

Her infectious laugh echoed in the large kitchen as her husband's hands roved her flat stomach. His lips that nibbled at her neck and he knew it drove her mad.

"I can't keep my hands off you, is that such a bad thing?" He retaliated between breaths as he continued up her neck.

"When I've got a rather large knife and might loose a finger chopping bell peppers? _Yes!"_ She argued as her athletic frame wriggled free from his embrace.

Eve spun against his chest as she abandoned the knife on the counter. Her freckled nose crinkled as she grinned and touched her forehead against her husband's.

His towering frame bent forward and broad arms firmly wrapped themselves around her as his soft eyes darkened in lust. His little pecks of affection had grown in intensity and duration.

She arched her back to pull away from the increasingly passionate kisses from her intoxicating spouse. His strong features and firm chest proved a tempting distraction from preparing their dinner.

"You know we've got to get to bed early tonight. We have to check in at base camp at 0600," she stated distractedly.

"I know," Danny commented. "Let's skip dinner okay?"

Eve remained silent.

Dejected, he sat on the stool at the island, propped both elbows on the marble counter and stared at his wife as she prepared a salad.

"Danny," she warned.

"I'm not doing _anything_," he grinned. He was picturing her naked.

"You're picturing me naked," she commented as the knife continued to fly across the board, julienning the carrots. "Again."

"It's not like I have X-ray vision. Besides, I picture you naked all the time. Whenever I want to in fact." His eyes closed. "I'm doing it right now. Nothing you can do to stop me," he began to laugh.

"It's distracting. I can feel you staring at me."

"It's when I stop staring you should be concerned." A toothy grin that caused Eve's insides to boil in lust spread wider on Danny's face. His eyes danced as he watched her.

Eve sighed, tucked a piece of light brown hair behind her ear and scraped the contents of the board on top of the lettuce.

She turned and smiled at her husband. "I know," she slowly approached her husband, whipping her hands in a dishtowel bent forward and brushed her lips across his. His eyes fluttered closed at her contact. "I don't mind…sometimes."

"I don't mind _anytime_." He began to snicker in amusement.

She flicked him with a dishtowel as his muscular arms snared her waist and pulled Eve onto his lap. Her giggle bubbled over into an infectious laugh. Her feet flailed above the ground.

"Danny! Put me down."

"Nope."

"Come on," she managed between gasps and laughter.

Danny had begun to plant kisses along her neck and stopped, closed his eyes and nuzzled his head into her shoulder. He inhaled deeply her clean earthy sent of sandalwood and orange blossoms.

Eve closed her eyes and leaned back against his firm torso; she ceased her struggle and enjoyed her husband's affection.

"Do you ever wonder what our children will look like?" He murmured into the soft skin where Eve's shoulder met her neck.

"Sometimes. I hope they have your metabolism and teeth, my eyesight and hair. Skin is a toss up, but I'm sure they'd prefer to not have freckles."

"How many do you think we'll have? And what's wrong with freckles? I like them," he commented.

His fingers traced along the tendons and veins on the top of her hands. "In fact, I love everything about you," he added. "If they're little Eve clones, I wouldn't mind a bit."

Her nose scrunched again. "I would. I think little Danny's running around would be better."

"If we have girls that are Danny clones, that would be frightening. I doubt they'd get many dates. Kind of too manly, wouldn't you think?"

"Can you be serious for five minutes?"

"I could…but this is more fun. We have plenty of time to be serious."

"Something's bothering you Danny, out with it."

His hands slipped from her waist and Eve's feet found their footing again on the tile floor. She turned to face him. She knew as well as he did, that humor was his way of skirting an issue.

"I want children Eve, a family; _our _family."

"So do I. We both do."

"How about now?" A thick dark eyebrow rose in suggestion.

"Now?"

"It's been four years, unless you've changed your mind…"

"No I haven't but..."

"If not now, then when? We both know that you can't go on missions pregnant."

"Why not? It would be a great cover."

"Eve!"

"What? I'm right. There are very few women in the world of espionage who are ready to deliver."

He sighed. "Look, if it were genetically possible for me to bear the kids, I would. But I can't. Sorry, there are some things that a woman needs to handle."

"For all you know, I could be pregnant right now," she crossed her arms and glared at him.

He sat upright and looked at her abdomen, then to her face in excitement.

"Really?"

"Really. I mean, I'm not sure. I could be. I'm late, but not really late. Yet."

He sprung from his seat, grabbed her around her waist again and spun her in the air. "That's fantastic!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself Shaw. I said I _could_ be."

"Eve," the deep voice resonated in the kitchen. "I don't want you to go tomorrow."

Her eyebrow shot up as her green eyes searched his in suspicion.

"Danny," she slipped back down to the floor and returned the dishcloth to the counter. "We've been through this. I'm going. You know I'm the best marksman. It's a done deal."

"And this is the most dangerous mission we've been prepping."

"Why are you brining this up again? We've discussed this before, I know it is and I'm not going to talk about it again," she stated firmly and began to return the lettuce and unused vegetables to the refrigerator.

"Don't you see how this is a bad idea? This is the first mission I'm in command of, and I'm really nervous about it. I don't want you involved."

"Well, it's a little late for that, don't you think?" Eve through her hands up in surrender. "We're spies, Danny," she stood directly in front of him. "This is what we do and this is the job that makes me happy, you know that."

"I know, but I worry more each time we go in. Eve, I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you, if I couldn't save you."

"Danny, you're not Superman. You can't always protect me and if you can't live with that, then you shouldn't have married me," her voice began to rise as a fire flashed in her green eyes. "I was a spy when you met me, and just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to give it up. That's not me."

"I'm not asking you to be a housewife---"

"Yes, you are! If you wanted a stepford wife, you should have married one. You know, when I married you, I accepted the package deal; your career, annoying habits, good points, emotional baggage and all. Danny, I've never once tried to change who _you_ are, stop trying to change me!"

Danny raked his fingers through his hair in frustration and sighed. His wife could be incredibly inflexible.

"Eve, I'm not trying to change you, just please," his eyes searched hears as he begged "at least switch to another team. I don't like the way this feels."

"Fine," she stated coldly. "I'll change to another team after this mission. We're deploying tomorrow, we both know it's too late to change that now. And don't think for a second I'm taking a desk job."

"Of course not. I just worry about you."

"And I _don't _worry about you? Every time you're gone my mind wanders down that dark road, you know the one, where I get a phone call that you've disappeared and you're not coming back. Believe me buddy, I've had those dreams. But this is the road we both chose. Now really, I don't want to hear about it anymore. Please, Danny."

"I love you," he stated as he looked upon her with fondness.

She stood, ran her fingers through his hair, let them trail down his neck and leaned forward, kissing him as she inhaled deeply. "I love you too." She kissed each of his eyelids, looked at him as her thumb wiped away a tear that had rolled down his cheek.

Danny's lost eyes looked up at her, smiled warmly and kissed his wife. "When will you know if you're pregnant?" He whispered.

"Two weeks."

"Promise me something Eve."

"That depends."

"That if you're pregnant, you'll slow down until the baby's born."

She smiled. "Deal."

Danny's tense back muscles beneath her hands relaxed at her agreement and he bent his head forward, resting it on her sternum as she held him. "I don't know what I'd do without you Eve. Please come back to me."

Her hand slid from his back, traced its way to his chin and tipped his head up; Danny's deep eyes met hers. "I promise Danny. I'll come back to you."

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**Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcome.**

**Again, just a sidenote: this is one of two chapters and chapter two is yet to be written.**


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